I now have about 2 and a half weeks left here. 18 nights. It's all slowly beginning to sink in that I am actually leaving and...I'm not sure really sure how that makes me feel. On the one, probably most important, hand I'm SO looking forward to seeing all my friends again and being back with Matt, back at Uni, back in Notts. Seeing family again...and my cats lol. Back to my old life, back to everything I know. But then, on the other hand... I'm going back to my old, normal life. Back to normality. But...I kinda want to be back to normality. Arrgghh I don't know! I think it's more the fact that I'll miss people here, and the comeradery, how close and friendly everyone is here. There's like a shared consiousness that we're all in it together. I guess we'll just have to try and make the effort to keep in touch. In a way I want to be in that position and state of mind where I know I've done it, I've completed and survived it and I can be happy and proud of myself about that, ready to get on with my life.
I guess there'll be reasons to stay and reasons to leave. But probably more reasons to leave...It's been such a massive experience that it'll seem odd when I'm not doing it anymore... it'll all be over and forgotten about. I won't have anyone to miss or stress or cry about lol.
Haven't done a hell of a lot the past few weeks, we're getting into 'leaving party' season now, so been to a couple of them. It will mine in a couple of weeks! It's gonna be so weird leaving here. I've been thinking about it and imagining it for so long that when it finally does happen, I'm not sure I'll want it to...It'll all just end. I'll get on a plane and know I'll never be around all this with all these people and do all these things like this again. Hmm... too philosophical..?!?!
Been a LOT happier these last few weeks as well. I think changing my flights helped change something in my brain that was making me down all the time. Suddenly it all seemed managable and like the end was in sight and I would be able to complete work at home rather than struggling at both Unis and not doing a very good job at either of them. I guess I'll know what's going on in my head more when I'm home or on that flight knowing its all over.
28th/29th/30th/31st March, 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/5th/6th/7th/8th/9th/10th/11th/12th/13th April 2009: